This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Prospect Park Volunteers Create Passion Path For Park Sexing

Much has been written over the past few years about the copious amounts of sex being had in Prospect Park—it seems that if you haven’t gotten a splinter from (ahem) chopping wood yet, you’re in the minority at this point. For the Prospect Park Litter Mob, that translates into a wasteland of condom wrappers and lube packets that need cleaning—as well as trampled flowers and damaged soil. In response, they’ve now built a path to aid interested parties getting their park sex on while respecting the environment: “I don’t care if people have sex—but all the little trails they leave behind are really bad for the forest floor,” park advocate and photographer Marie Viljoen told Brooklyn Paper.

The motley crew of the Prospect Park Litter Mob meets up twice a month to clean the park, collect strange objects, and document birds and other wildlife. Viljoen says the group built a 50-foot-long wood-lined path atop an overgrown trail last week in the Midwood section of the park, near the carousel. That area is also a well known spot for gay cruising. Park spokesman Paul Nelson made it clear that this didn’t mean the volunteers, or the park, were encouraging public sex: “They were cribbing the steep part for better footing and to control erosion,” he said.

Last May, the NY Times followed Viljoen on one of her expeditions cleaning the park; the group filled 22 bags with everything from empty bottles of vodka and coconut rum to a gold lamé thong to stapled pages of a manuscript and a hypodermic needle. Oh, and also upward of 2,000 condom wrappers and 600 condoms! Those slovenly sexers should know better than to make such a waste there—this is exactly why Hoboken can’t have their St. Patrick’s Day Parade anymore.